FlyLady has a term = Born Organized. I am. Or I was a disorganized mess as a kid but eventually figured out my path through the chaos. (And please don't say "unorganized," because it annoys me almost as much as people who don't know the difference between "everyday" and "every day.")
So this stuff comes easily for me now. And I have a child for whom it does not come easily. I am trying to help him but we don't communicate well on the best of days and today our "communication" consisted of me throwing things and yelling LOUDLY while he tried his best to stay out of the way and avoid flying pieces of paper from his disgusting mess of a backpack.
He has a folder for each core class. The trouble is, he doesn't put the homework papers into the folders -- they get shoved into the locker and haphazardly gathered at the end of the day.
The system, in case you were wondering, is broken.
He has missing assignments and is failing multiple classes. Failing.
I have cried about this for longer than I care to admit this afternoon/evening.
I am failing my child.
I am failing.
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Is it possible your child is failing you?
ReplyDeleteBecause in reality, this is HIS problem. Not yours. You said you were a disorganized mess as a child but found your path.
I have every confidence that your son (and I think I can guess which one this is) will as well.
Hang in there. And if it's any consolation, Bobby's been banished to his room all night for lying about homework last night.
I'm sorry you're feeling so bad about this Jennifer. I think though all you can do is be as good an example for him as possible. :hug:
ReplyDeleteI hope you're able to help him get a handle on it.
We are going through the same thing with our youngest. Example: He spent the month of October reading his butt off to try and be the best reader in his class. He logged all the information on his reading log. November 1 rolls around and he fails to turn in the reading log and the teacher tells me (because it is another missed assignment). When I ask Sam why, he said he lost it! His sister finds it under his seat in the van days later and I tell him to turn it in. When asked the next day if he turned it in??? He tells me he threw it away. What??? When I have no idea what advice to give, please let me know when you figure it out.
ReplyDeleteYou are an AWESOME Mom! You know you are my hero. I know he will figure this out.
This is such a hard situation. Of course, I'm not all that organized, so my children aren't really capable of being worse than me in that respect, still I sympathize. And I hope you've remembered by now that you're a great mom, and that you and your kids will be through this.
ReplyDeleteYou are not failing him. He just needs to find a system of coping with this problem. Kurt was like this as a student, and the stories he's told me about his school experiences sound identical to what's been going on with your son.
ReplyDeleteWhen I used to teach, I routinely met one of my students after school so that we could organize his backpack together and get his assignments in order for English class. This seemed to help him, and his mother seemed so relieved that someone else was doing it. I think she'd just had it, and according to her, Tom seemed to listen to me simply because I wasn't his mother.
Perhaps your son could find some help at school with this issue? Maybe he has a teacher who wouldn't mind taking a few minutes to help him with this....