Friends

I am so grateful for my friends these days -- well, I try to be grateful for them EVERY day, but we all get in places where we take things for granted, right?

Anyway, my girls from Rochester are the best -- a lot of us met 7 years ago in a parenting class. The kids go to a room depending on their age where they have licensed early childhood teachers and age/developmentally appropriate activities, and the parents (well, at that time it was moms) go into a rom to discuss various parenting issues and vent to each other. Slowly others have joined us -- but it is a special person who can come into this group and find her place. We are strong, opinionated, anything-but-shy types for the most part, and a small voice can get drowned out. Trying, too, to remember that right now there are members of the group who (I think) may be feeling a little out of the loop.

My eldest was 10 months old when I started PAIIR. I went through 2 pregnancies there, facilitating classes for first time parents (because apparently Rob and I were then "experienced" parents ... yeah, right), served on the advisory council and as president of said council, and chaired a fundraising operation where we compiled our own cookbook. (And a fab cookbook it is, at that).

And I met my friends. These are all smart, funny, incredibly loving women who have literally saved my life multiple times. When I was insane with the stress of having a newborn and an 18 month old, it was they who talked me down off the ledge. For years we have met over the summer at parks in our community to let the kids play while we sat in the shade of a tree and talked about books, sex, husbands, old flames, kid issues, in-law issues, and so much more. We have solved all the world's problems a hundred times over. Budget issues in the government? Put a stay-at-home mom in charge of the money. We can stretch a penny til it screams out for mercy. People fighting with each other by shouting back and forth across the universe? Put 'em in a room together and make them work it out -- just like we do with our kids.

We live across the country now, from North Carolina to California. But we stay in touch on a message board and by phone, and somehow when we get together it's like we were never apart.

Our kids are bigger now, obviously -- but to me each child is frozen at a spot in time in toddlerhood -- Christopher with his Barney overalls that he just couldn't let go; Hannah saying, "Hannah hear thunder," at 16 months when my son (who was older) had a caveman vocabulary; Autumn in little pigtails and bright striped leggings; Bobby as a tiny, tiny baby; Matthew, wiry and skinny, taking unsteady steps across a PAIIR classroom. I love these kids. Of course I didn't mention them all, but those memories are there -- and in some ways, I think we all view each other's kids as a little bit our own. After all, WE are the village who has raised them. Sure, there are teachers, and grandparents, other relatives, church connections, etc. and they're all important. But we have all been there so long that we are part of each other's family in some ways. I miss that a lot from out here in the Golden State.

Thursday I will go back for a few days, to hang with the girls, to make jokes about the magical properties of pineapple juice, to scrapbook my California memories, to swim in the warm waters of unconditional friendship -- these are my friends. The kind who would not just help you move; they'd help you move a body. LOL

And so, my girls, from North Carolina to Minnesota, you ROCK. I miss you, I love you, and I wish everybody the same amazing friendships that we have forged. They should be so lucky.