Boy, it takes ahold of you and really doesn't let go.
The funeral for Tanya was this afternoon. I couldn't get there in time ... I live too far away, plane tickets were way out of my price range, and plans were made so fast there was no way I could be there.
I talked to her parents yesterday. As I wrote before, they are such good people. They were SO kind to me, so generous. The pain they must be feeling is unimaginable. How do you go on after this? I find myself crying every once in a while. It surprises me every time, all of a sudden it bubbles up and overwhelms me.
Why? I just don't understand. No matter that I'm not supposed to -- I WANT to. And trying to make sense of this, well, it just doesn't make sense. So there.
Y'know those 5 stages of grief from Elisabeth Kubler-Ross' book? I am SO in anger right now.
Mom, wife, daughter, sister, friend. Scrapbooker, family historian, reader, cook, photographer. Volunteer. Political junkie. Springsteen fan. Loves deeply, strives daily to be a cheerful, kind and generous person. Fails regularly. Snarky, judgy and more than a little blunt. Some people don't appreciate my style. If you're one of them, that's ok. Get your own blog.
I just read a wonderful story in this months' Indianapolis Monthly about a young teacher who was killed in a car accident one year ago. It is such a great piece. It isn't available in full online so I am going to send you a copy. I hope it helps you deal with this situation. I know it must hurt for you and I can't even imagine how her parents ache. Sometimes life just doesn't make sense does it?
ReplyDeleteif you email me Tanya's last name, I will add her to my church's Book of Remembrance. Hugs to you J.
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