Just thinking here ...
how do two people who love each other ...
and get married and create a family ....
grow together or apart?
How do you go from being each other's confidante
to strangers?
How???
In my marriage there have been times when I questioned everything -- myself, my choices in life, my parenting skills, my purpose in life, my sanity, whether I deserved love, my choice of a husband, my worthiness as a human being ...
but somehow, even when I sincerely did not want to wake up next to my husband one more day,
I found my way through it.
Am I remarkable for that? No --- I think I am lucky.
Lucky to have a husband who loves me -- deeply, warmly, patiently.
Lucky to have 3 gorgeous, amazing, funny, bright kids who I really would do anything for -- including stick around on days when I thought I'd rather leave.
Lucky to have a family who I knew would kick my ass if they thought I had not done everything I could to save my marriage.
Lucky to have a friend who listened to my troubles without judging. (Many friends, actually).
Lucky to have this unhappy, confusing phase of my life pass with no major repercussions.
Lucky to feel, after 10 years of marriage, that I would do it all again. That our love is stronger than ever, that our family and the small traditions we have will always be the bedrock of our lives.
Dinner together every night. Bedtime tuck-ins and I love yous every night. Valentine's Day family dinners, Bubble Bread on Thanksgiving morning, chocolate fondue for Christmas breakfast. Jamie Oliver's savory breakfast bread for Father's Day. Breakfast in bed for Mom on Mother's Day. (Apparently we have a lot of food traditions. LOL)
Tolkien wrote, "Not all who wander are lost." But not all who are lost know it.
I am so lucky. I wish you all the same amazing, wonderful, secure love I have found and been lucky enough to keep.
Mom, wife, daughter, sister, friend. Scrapbooker, family historian, reader, cook, photographer. Volunteer. Political junkie. Springsteen fan. Loves deeply, strives daily to be a cheerful, kind and generous person. Fails regularly. Snarky, judgy and more than a little blunt. Some people don't appreciate my style. If you're one of them, that's ok. Get your own blog.
What a great post. And while I think it is hard work, I know there is a little more to it too. Hard to say, but be thankful for it nonetheless.
ReplyDeleteLuck - maybe some - commitment and belief that "the sun will come out tomorrow" - maybe some - mostly, I believe, a non-selfish attitude realizing that "I" am only a part of the whole and what "I" need is again only a part of what the whole needs to survive and prosper. Love, Mom
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