Did I mention I'm cranky?

Oh. My. God. I just came from E's first baseball game. There were about 4 games going on at once, plus another 2 games that were about to start. Can you say CLUSTER FUCK? AAAARGH!!!! And who the fuck lives and works in Silicon Valley but feels the compelling need to drive a gangsta Chrysler 300C with Oakland Raiders plates? Oooh, I'm sure you're so gangsta at Google or Netflix or Adobe or wherever it is you work in corporate America technology hell.

And then, the team they were playing had this .... JOCK for a coach. You know the type, he lifts weights (because no one has pecs that look like breasts without trying) he makes 5 year olds do laps, he's way too enthusiastic about everything. He is clearly a former jock trying to relive his glory days. I bet he can't read.

And his "helper"? Aaaaaagggghhhhh again! A blond ponytailed mom who clearly needs to BUY HERSELF A LIFE. Or a freakin' cheerleader's uniform and some pom-poms. Honestly.

And then our coach's ex-wife sits on a blanket next to me and proceeds to take pictures of her child while constantly bumping my leg with her arm (I was in a chair, she was on the ground). Get your own fuckin' space, lady. Puh- leeze. And of course she was all, "Yay! Good job! Yada yada yada fuckin' neverending yada." Put a fuckin' sock in it, lady.

Everyone annoys me today. I want the entire world to shrivel up and blow away in the wind.

I do not know what put me in this glorious mood but aren't you glad you don't have to deal with me?