Sarah was right -- Kristin and Lance met after his cancer treatment. (See comments on previous entry.)
And probably he does not need to be either a hero or a jerk -- I mean, of course all of us possess some admirable and not-so-admirable qualities. (Present company excepted, of course.)
I guess it's my same old objection to the hero-worship and devotion people have for athletes of all stripes -- not that it's Lance Armstrong's fault that half the world seems to think he's a god or a saint or both.
As for the show, I have to say (being totally honest here) that I was pretty disappointed it wasn't a trashy tell-all that made Lance out to be a horrible person. (I never said I didn't have any not-so-admirable qualities.) His ex-wife basically said she had not prepared for marriage as she should have and was more worried about the ring on her left hand than the thought of what kind of commitment marriage was. She ended up losing herself and just sort of going along for the ride. If he asked her opinion she either didn't have one or didn't voice it. She didn't bash him at all (at least in the first half-hour or so, which was all I saw).
And in that I have to say I admire her. She is speaking out about something many of us do -- I know I have subjugated myself in relationships before. Thankfully I have a husband who values my opinion and I am secure enough in my marriage to share what I think with him -- even if we disagree dramatically. And he gives me the freedom to choose what I want for my life, within the confines of the general structure we agree we want our family to have.
Interesting, though -- it is a difficult line to walk. To what extent am I allowed to want something different for my life? What if I made the decision, say, to stay home full time, and was happy with it, then decided I wanted more? How is one supposed to navigate those issues? How much does one need to sacrifice when raising a family? Is an individual supposed to defer their dreams or pursue them? What are the costs to the individual when making that choice? How much is a spouse responsible for when decisions were made jointly but then one party decides they want something different/more/new?
Thanks, Sarah, for helping me look at this beyond the prurient view I was stuck on.
Mom, wife, daughter, sister, friend. Scrapbooker, family historian, reader, cook, photographer. Volunteer. Political junkie. Springsteen fan. Loves deeply, strives daily to be a cheerful, kind and generous person. Fails regularly. Snarky, judgy and more than a little blunt. Some people don't appreciate my style. If you're one of them, that's ok. Get your own blog.
Now those are some hard questions. I guess we have a whole life ahead of us to learn the answers. One thing I have learned though, both as a mother and a wife, is that if you don't nourish yourself, you're not gonna have much left to give your loved ones. (Put the oxygen mask over your own face first, then assist the small children.) Women who give and give and give, even when nobody asked them to, and then expect praise and gratitude in return are a) riding for a fall and b) a pain to themselves and everyone around them. IMHO. (I was a mother like that once, but I had to knock it off.)
ReplyDeleteDidn't see the Oprah show in question.... but am not surprised the ex-wife didn't "lash-out" against Lance. Maybe spousal support (am guessing there's a lot of $$$$$$$ on the line) prevents her from saying crap about him. Just playing devil's advocate.
ReplyDeleteI don't know Lesley. I think she's just taking the high road, because if she did lash out it's possible the trashmedia would call it sour grapes and drag her through the mud. This way, she comes out smelling like a rose.
ReplyDeleteAnd personally, so few people anymore take the high road, I can really get behind her. Our society is really good about finding blame in everyone/thing but ourselves (eg: who is to blame for high gas prices? everyone who drives a car.) and doing nothing to really fix our problems, but complaining about it. Certianly I suffer from my share of this. I didn't see the Oprah but from what Jennifer says, it sounds like the former Mrs. Armstrong not only accepted that two people make a marriage and therefore two people can destroy it but that she could better her flaws/errors by recognizing them for what they were and not laying the blame for everything at Lance's feet.
I'm not a big Armstrong fan, I am apathetic about him at best, but I too agree with Sarah. He didn't really ask to be a hero.
As for your questions, it's been a non-thought provoking day so I will say...very deep and good questions. And then I will go to bed! ;)