Suckage

Dear BabyZone.com,

Thank you for your newsletter on potty training. However, I have not had a child in diapers since March 2005. In fact, I have to tell you, NONE of your newsletters are helpful or effective for me anymore. My parenting woes have moved beyond temper tantrums and playing the "I drop it, you pick it up" game.

Oh? You think perhaps I should unsubscribe from your newsletters? Brilliant. Except I have done that TEN THOUSAND times and it does not appear to be effective. I have sent emails through the proper link bemoaning your suckitude (word stolen from another blogger, thankyouverymuch) and begging you to just, PLEASE, RIGHT NOW, TAKE MY FUCKING EMAIL ADDY OFF YOUR LIST.

I signed up once, to get access to some random thing that was unavailable if you weren't a member. At that time I opted out of every option you gave me. And STILL you have shared my email address with guys who tell me how to make my penis bigger (ummm, I don't HAVE a penis, thankyouverymuch) and women who tell me how exciting it will be when my man gets this very intimate item for only $89.95 and the wonderful man from a small African nation who is generously giving me a large portion of his family's fortune.

I am using that money to come and kick your sorry asses in person.

Thank you.