climbing out

I have talked about my fight with depression here before, and I have given my family and some friends permission to tell me when they think I am so far down that I need a prescription boost for my mood.

Last Tuesday I had a meltdown over something that, while it was a little upsetting, was not worthy of the tears that followed. I talked to my mom and she told me pretty bluntly that she thought I needed help. I am seeing a grief counselor and I do feel like I am coping better, but I talked to Rob and decided she was right.

On Dec. 22 I took half of one of my anti-depression pills. On Dec. 25 I could feel a difference in my mood and most importantly I am on a more even keel. Things are not tipping me over into puddles these days. I am still sad, I still miss Kris; it hasn't dulled my feelings or made me into a zombie, but it definitely has given me a more even feeling and a means of dealing with stuff that I didn't have before.

I was so sad to learn of the recent death of an area musician. It sounds as though he may have suffered from depression for some time and I suspect it was a suicide. He was incredibly talented and only in his early 50s. I ache for his wife and friends, and for him. If only someone had known how hopeless he felt. If only he had confided in someone. If only he had sought out help.

If you or someone you love may be depressed, please seek help. You don't have to fight this battle alone, and there is no shame in getting help. Life can be different. Honest.