Sluggish

I guess it had to happen; I've been feeling pretty good, doing well, and today I sort of went downhill. I volunteered at school and noticed some discomfort in my left lower abdomen on the way home. By the time I got here it was really uncomfortable and I realized it was Mittelschmerz pain from ovulating. I used to have it every month but since my endometrial ablation I had not had a problem.

I took an Aleve and crawled into bed to get warm and rest. I turned on CNN and promptly fell asleep. Until my kids came home from school.

Yeah, I blew the entire afternoon. I had hoped to get to work on the Circle Journal I have this month; I have a concept and a start but I wanted to get some photos taken and ordered.

I guess I should be grateful; I wasn't in a puddle, I didn't go to sleep because I was trying to escape my sadness, and I know this "down" episode is higher than I was all of December and January emotionally; it still frustrates me that I'm still just not myself.

I am trying to be patient with myself, I really am; trying to take care of myself and be gentle. So why, when I do that, do I tend to feel so guilty about it?