Sunday, October 09, 2011

Yom Kippur

We had a service today in honor of the Jewish high holy day Yom Kippur, which was yesterday. It was lovely.
Yom Kippur is about atonement -- and in one reading, the word was broken down like this: "at - one - ment." How profound. At its most basic, forgiveness helps us become one with god, and one with each other.
I don't need to tell regular readers (reader?) of this blog that that is a struggle for me. Forgiveness. Letting go. Leaving the pain in the past.
No, I am not good at that at all.
So today's responsive reading was an excellent exercise for me. Kind of like Joel's friend in Risky Business; "If you can't say it, you can't do it."
The repeated line in the reading?
"I forgive myself. I forgive you. We begin again in love."
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I have a friend who is struggling right now. It is a big struggle, one that is shaking her to her core. She is trying to find her way, but it seems to me that she has forgotten who she is.

Isn't it interesting that strong, intelligent people can be so ... challenged by people or circumstances in their lives that they literally lose themselves? I am not judging, just observing. She is lost, but I see her. I know she isn't far off the path. I am so sad that she is afraid and that she feels that she is so far away from everything good in her life. I want to take her hand and gently lead her back to where she belongs.

But I have traveled a similar path, and I know that she has to find her way back to herself on her own. It is her journey. No one can lead her back, she has to slowly pick her way across the rough stones, through the grass so tall it hides her from the world, and around the boulders strewn along the way.

If you are reading, friend ... I am here. I have a candle and a flame. You have a candle, too, you just have to find it. When you do, I will light it for you and walk with you as far as you need me to. You will find your way home to yourself. And while you are wandering, feeling lost and alone, I am here, wishing you well.

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Lost in the Woods

When you are certainly lost,
when the wind blows acutely,
when the moon is unavailable,
when tragedy catches up
and walks,
like a companion, by your side,
when the snowflakes fall
severely;
then,

may you see a window and a pallid light,
may the light get bolder
as you get closer;
may the light be the sound
of vital laughing,
may the laugh be the laugh
of the ones you're missing,
may your feet find their way
to the oaken door;
may the door swing open, sure
and slow,
may each kind glad face
turn
to yours.

~Kathleen Sheeder Bonanno

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