Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Hard lessons

Yesterday was a very difficult day for my family. Not the family I have built with Rob, but the nuclear family I came from. My mom, dad, brother and I came together to support each other. That was a good thing, but it was a tough day.

Over the course of that very tough, emotional day, I had some time to think. And a very wise man (oh, you have no idea how desperately I hope that he was as wise as he seemed yesterday!) said some things to everyone present that struck a chord with me.

Many horrible things have been said. Awful, horrible things have been done. Things that are almost unforgivable. Things that have deeply affected many, many people. Things that will continue to affect some of those people for the rest of their lives.

The room was full of hate. That very wise man said that he, even though he was an observer, could feel the vitriol. We all could. It was palpable.

That very wise man made a speech that was aimed at everyone. He said that hate was poisoning people, that being in an environment of hate is not good for anyone.

I was not a direct party to many things I am angry about, but I contributed to the atmosphere of hatred in that room. My heart and my thoughts were dark.

I am forgiving people for wrongs done to me. I will not forget, I am still angry about them, but I forgive. I let the hate go, right now. It is done.

We can't live with hate like this. We have to approach this situation with love. Love is the only thing that can begin to fix the situation.

If you pray, just pray that the wise man makes the right decision. That he will see the best option clearly, that he will be able to see through the lies and deception.

And pray that as I move forward with love for my family and forgiveness for the others, I will remember this post and the tears that are falling as I type it. Pray that all of us will let go of the hate and find love for those who need it, and find forgiveness in our hearts, not for those we need to forgive, but for ourselves.



  1. Hope your family can start a new chapter now...

  2. I recently read the best quote...

    "Love and hate are both like the loaves and fishes in the baskets. The more of each you give away, the more remains of each for you to keep."

    And of course...

    "I once had a garden filled with flowers that grew only on dark thoughts but they need constant attention & one day I decided I had better things to do. " ~ Brian Andreas

  3. I know how you feel Jennifer - actually going through that stuff in my family (with one of my siblings) right now. It's hard sucking up a lot of stuff when all you want to do is rage, but you know it will only make you feel worse in the end.

    Being mature sucks sometimes.

  4. Hang in there Jennifer. I know this incredibly difficult for all of you. I hope the right decisions are made as well.