Monday, August 15, 2011


Rep. Michele Bachmann (who is running for president and is batshit crazy in my not-so-humble opinion) has been in the news lately because of her religious beliefs. Specifically, she and her husband are evangelical Christians and they believe that a woman should "submit" to her husband. She's taking a lot of flak for that.
Now I am not a fan (clearly) but I am not sure this is a fair line of questioning, despite the fact that we have for years been asking people of faith how their faith is going to inform their decisions as President of the United States. Some people were convinced JFK was going to take all his instruction from the Vatican. Some are concerned that Mitt Romney's Latter-Day Saints (Mormon) beliefs will somehow corrupt the presidency. The implication in the questioning of Bachmann, though, is that her decisions will actually be made by her husband because she, as a Christian wife, submits to his will.
I may be WAY off base in this, but I don't necessarily believe that simply because a couple believes the wife should submit to her husband the marriage has any more or less trust, respect, and understanding than my marriage or any other.
Shockingly, I submit to my husband's wishes regularly. He is the primary financial decision maker in our household; I have a small income that goes into our joint accounts along with his. We pay bills together. He handles the meetings with the financial planner and makes sure we have adequate life insurance, retirement, etc. I HATE dealing with money. Even though we have plenty to pay the bills each month, even though our personal debt is very low, even though it should be relatively simple because we have enough, I am stressed out at the thought. My stomach is in knots as I type this.
So he tells me about how much grocery money we have. He is usually the one who decides it is time to make major purchases (like the recent weekend we purchased 2 TVs). Now don't get me wrong, I can go to the scrapbook store or buy a book or two for my Kindle without advance permission, but generally I check with him first, even if it's a text or a conversation the night before where I simply say, "I am going to buy a ______ tomorrow."
So sometimes submission is just a fact of living in a marriage; it's compromise. It is recognizing that we can't both be the driver all the time. My husband's career is the money maker for our household. His job is the deciding factor in where we live, where our children go to school, and most of our life. Of course what HE wants in his career path, what HE wants in terms of job growth and added responsibility, drives many decisions we make. How can it not? it certainly wouldn't make sense for me to suddenly decide I want a change and that we are moving, for example, to Denver. I could get a job there, but it would still not be the primary income in our home, Why on earth would we do that? So I submit; not because I am a doormat, but because that is how we choose to balance the power in our marriage.
And my marriage, or Michele Bachmann's marriage, or any other marriage or relationship, is not where anyone else should be. No one can really know or understand anyone else's home or relationship. And unless someone is being hurt in some way, we don't need to.
And as long as I'm on my soapbox, I think the same thing regardless of the gender or sexual orientation of the people in said relationships.


  1. I completely understand your POV. But I don't agree.

    It's my understanding that MB made this an issue herself by stating that she is a submissive wife. Perhaps she was catering to evangelicals at the time, which is completely her prerogative--but it's my opinion that doing so logically leads to the question from some who do not lean so far to the right.

    If she had answered the question as eloquently as you did, instead of not answering it at all ... I think there would be less hubbub about it.

    But I'm not overly concerned either way because I would never vote for her.

  2. I, too, would never vote for THAT woman. She is crazy, and an idiot, and I consider myself a Christian.

    I agree with your "submissive statements wholeheartedly and want to add something I heard recently in a (*gasp*) sermon regarding submitting to your spouse/God/others.

    Being submissive was defined as: Being willing to listen, not defensive, reasonable and open to ideas.

    I liked those comments about submitting almost as much as yours.