Glorious Saturday

I live for these kinds of days in the winter -- days when I can sleep until 8:30 and I wake up and my husband already has a pot of Dunkin' Donuts Original coffee on. Days when the sun is shining but I don't have to go outside. (For those of you who live in warmer climes, a January day in Minnesota where the sun is shining brightly usually means the temperature is somewhere far below "fit for human habitation"). Days when getting dressed means switching from fleece jammies to sweatpants. Days when I have no commitments to anyone and I can plan a satisfying dinner meal that takes hours to cook because I am not going anywhere, my friends.

This week had one of those roller coaster bumps that can't be predicted and that take a lot out of a mom. Spencer collided with another child while he was in the bus line after school Thursday. Said collision resulted in Spence bleeding all over creation, a call to me to come and get him, and an emergency visit to first our orthodontist's office, then a trek across the hall to the oral surgeon.

Yikes.

His upper lip was terribly swollen and the inside of it was actually caught in the braces wires. Ulp. Thank goodness for nitrous oxide. (And for the iPhone, which kept me busy playing Words with Friends so I wouldn't accidentally look up and see whatever the surgeon was doing.)

His teeth were saved by the braces. If it hadn't been for those silver wires, his two front teeth would have been gone. As it is, they are loose. So loose he is not to bite into anything with them for a couple of weeks to a month. So loose that, while we don't know who the other kid was, I can not imagine she did not have a colossal headache and/or a goose egg, or blood on her at the very least.

And I kept it together, internet. I did not cry or faint at the sight of my injured boy. He was so brave, and I was a puddle inside, but I did not crack. Yay me. There were moments it could have gone either way, believe me.

He was home from school yesterday. Has a script for amoxicillin and is taking ibuprofen regularly. His lip is swollen but he is in remarkably good spirits. He is eating soup and jello and pudding, and this morning he is out shopping with Dad for a new Wii game that he has wanted for a long time. Hooray for birthday windfalls.

Speaking of birthdays, we had his party scheduled for last night. I postponed it on Thursday night, not knowing how he would be feeling, and it looks like we'll be able to pull it off in a week or so but he is 10, and he handled that disappointment with remarkable grace.

It could have been SO much worse, but it was stressful, and I fussed and fretted as any mom would, and it took the gee-whiz right out of me. I was in bed ridiculously early last night.

And this morning I woke up late, had my coffee, hatched a plan to make steaks for dinner, along with popovers and P-Dub's Burgundy Mushrooms, and sent my husband out for a few ingredients and some errands that Evan and Spence wanted to run.

I will get some reading done today, work on a few crafty projects, and be grateful for my cozy house, the fireplace in the family room, the healthy kids, and the husband who keeps it all together.

Yes, definitely one of my favorite kinds of days.

Time flies when ... it's summer?

I guess that's my excuse. I haven't posted on my blog for 2 months because it's summer. Although, to be fair, it really has only felt like summer for a month. It took its own sweet time getting here, then bore down on us last week with temps near 100 and humidity to match. Brutal. I try really hard not to complain about the heat -- I do, after all, live in Minnesota, and, well, we have such cold so much of the year it feels ungrateful to complain when we finally get a warm day. But this? This was ridiculous.

So ... what has been happening since May 11, when I took my little hiatus?

Well, my little brother got married. He and his wife were both married previously and had some sad tales to tell. They had a lovely day and a beautiful ceremony and they are deliriously happy. So that was nice. In an awesome bonus, I did NOT get into a hair pulling, scratching, biting fight with my mom's sister, who hates my everlovin' guts. Ignoring evil relative FTW!

Also, my eldest son graduated from 8th grade. They had a simple ceremony at the end of the school's annual awards ceremony and I did not cry. Perhaps I am unsentimental, but I prefer to think of it as "looking forward to all of the cool stuff my kid will learn and do as he grows." It's all in the spin.

In June I made a trip to North Dakota to spend a couple of days with my mom. We attended a lecture by Clay Jenkinson, who portrays my favorite President, Thomas Jefferson, and it was amazing. I highly recommend Clay's Show, The Thomas Jefferson Hour.

And I drove my new car home from North Dakota at the end of that trip. My dad restored it for my mom (who picked the beautiful color) in 1996. They are starting to think about downsizing and moving somewhere warm, and they decided they had better start getting rid of cars. (My dad has a fascination with cars, which I detailed in an album I made for him a few years ago. You can see the inside pages in my gallery at Scrapjazz. Here is a link, but the album starts on page 7 of the gallery just in case the link doesn't work.

And here is the car:

I know.

It is gorgeous. I could not love it more.

Of course, in the interest of full documentation I should also add that the fuel pump died on the doggone thing before I'd had it a week. Fortunately the part was under $25 and my awesome husband did the mechanic work to get me up and running again. Could have been worse.

And of course we have been doing the usual home improvement stuff around here lately -- Evan's room is looking very appropriate for a gearhead, and Garrett's room just got its bamboo wall mural and a new oak door, and will get new bifold closet doors (also oak) as soon as I get them stained. Patience, grasshopper.

We spent a lovely few days at our friends' lake cabin in central Minnesota, where all 3 of the boys learned to waterski. That was a highlight. We had a ball. It is so much fun to give my boys a little chance to experience stuff like that. I took my grandparents' lake cabins for granted, and I wish one of them was still left in the family. Having a week every year to hang at our friends' cabin is really a treat.

And, of course, Potter fever hit our house in July, when Evan and I went to the midnight showing of the final harry Potter movie with our friends Tracy and David. The boys dressed up and we all loved the movie. We all love the books even more.

And, speaking of books, I read The Count of Monte Cristo with a couple of friends over the spring and summer. It is 1,200 pages. It was great fun to read with a group again and we are thinking of doing it with more books, although keeping a looser format than a monthly book group. I read it on my Kindle, and cannot love the Kindle more, either. What a great invention.

So ... it wouldn't be my blog without a list, would it? We still have that doggone storage unit from spring 2010, when we put the house on the market. Since then we have gone through a lot of it and it is less than half full, so we hope to clean it all out soon. Plus there are always a million things to do to get ready for school starting, so here is my list for today:

* clean out storage unit by Sept. 30 (in progress as of 8/22)
* get out for a few days of camping (not so many camping days this summer with the government shutdown)
* get kids to eye doctor before school
* finish staining Garrett's closet doors (in progress as of 8/22)
* stain remaining 3 doors for basement (in progress as of 8/22)
* weed garden
* take out tree/bush in back yard

I think that's good for now. I am well. My kids are doing great -- they are at UU Chalice Camp this week (Vacation Bible School for UUs). My husband is as handsome, patient and kind as ever.

So I am grateful for the things that stay the same, even as the world and my family change every day.

Deep Thoughts

Okay, really, I don't have any. Nothing to ponder or to make you think. Maybe just a quick recap of the last month:

*my folks and my brother (along with his girlfriend and their 4 kids) were here for Christmas. It was the first time in 13 years that we'd all been together. A long gap that was mostly inspired by his ex-wife, who, in addition to being an absolute pig at home, would trash my house every time she came. She was a human tornado without the benefit of the rainbow at the end. At any rate, she is gone, and I enjoyed having everyone here (mostly LOL). I am ME, after all.

*Evan's big Christmas gift this year was plane tickets for him and me to go to Indianapolis to see the fabulous Teresa and her son Mike. She is truly an incredible and generous host. We went because Evan (inspired by Teresa and Mike) has become quite a Colts football fan, and Teresa has season tickets. January 2 saw the 4 of us at Lucas Oil Stadium, wearing Colts jerseys (even me!) and cheering Peyton Manning and the guys to victory. The stadium is awesome and we had a lot of fun.

*In a week (a WEEK!) my baby will turn 9. How did that happen?

*In just over a month I will celebrate my 15th wedding anniversary with my amazing husband. He has frequent flier miles and I am itching to get away with him for a couple of days, I just need to find someone who can take my kids. Cross your fingers!

*My job is going well. I love the flexibility and the fact that I can log in from home whenever I want. I got the laptop a few weeks ago and it is so convenient. I often log in for an hour or so at night to get through email, and I am doing a fair amount of reading about Time Banking in general and learning a lot.

*Minnesota has a Democrat in the Governor's office for the first time in 20 years. Mark Dayton was my candidate all along, and I am very pleased he was elected.

*The great bedroom remodel of 2010 is almost complete. We got the room painted Wednesday the 22 and furniture moved in the 23rd. We still need to get new carpet, add trim and closet doors, and put the closet organizer in, but it is a room, it is warm, and it is functional. Garrett is pretty chuffed.

*I am still reading Anna Karenina. It isn't boring, but it requires some concentration. And a cheat sheet delineating names and relationships. I need to finish it, though, because I just added several books to my library request list: Room, An Exact Replica of a Figment of My Imagination, My Reading Life and Port Mortuary.

How delicious -- to start off the new year with books by 2 of my most favorite authors, Pat Conroy and Patricia Cornwell. I will let you know what I think.

I have a LOT of books

I know Nate Berkus wants me to make my bookshelves look more interesting by adding photos, memorabilia, and other items that personalize my space. However, Nate has NO IDEA how many books I own. It was a huge effort but we (and by we I mean my darling husband) put together the bookshelf.

I had emptied one of the smaller bookshelves and dusted earlier in the day. After the shelf was assembled I emptied the other, removed the protective dust covering off the books (What? It IS protective. Really.) and got down to business.

I honestly thought I would have a ton of extra space in the new shelf. Oops. Turns out when you have NO MORE ROOM on the 2 small shelves, even one gigantic shelf is not enough. Witness: NOT a Nate Berkus approved bookshelf. (Note to self: Dude! The cord, man. It is heinous!)



And I know the cranberry lamp is an errr .... bold choice. But it was from my grandma and I love it and I just tell anyone who asks that the pink is an accent color.


Still and all, I like it. I can see the books now. It was so much fun reshelving them, looking at the dust jackets, remembering the stories, thinking I need to re read this one or that one. They are my friends, and it makes me happy to display them in a manner befitting them. Now I just need a dozen or so more of them.

(I know I would have more book space were it not for the bins on the bottom row. But I have a husband who saves his woodworking magazines and needs a place to store them AND an obsessive need to keep a million papers in little files without the necessary obsessive need to actually file.)

And I only had 2 glasses of wine last night but I was a little giddy when I posted. Forgive me. The recipe for the Red Velvet cake is here. Deeeeelish.

Twilight

If you haven't heard of the series of books by Stephenie Meyer by now, you must be living under a rock.

I am reading them now. Actually, I have read 3 of the books and I am in the middle of #4 right now. They are young adult novels but I know a LOT of women who have read them.

Basically they are about a girl who falls in love with a vampire. Only the vampires in this book bear little resemblance to your average vampire legend or Dracula story. And to complicate matters, said girl has a (male) best friend who has some, errr, issues of his own.

I'll just say that most of the women are in love with the vampire, Edward Cullen. I, however, have decided that I prefer the best friend, Jacob.

The writing isn't great but I have to admit the story is compelling. So compelling, in fact, that I am tearing through these relatively thick books in just a few hours each.

And so compelling that I am going now to get through another hundred pages or so before I go to bed.

Delicious fabric

I saw this red fabric awhile ago and fell in love with it. Trouble is, it doesn't really "go" in my house. I don't have any red; the kitchen has a wine and grape sort of theme but it's in taupe and olive, no red. The dining room and the living room are one large room and I guess it would work as a table runner but it's pretty vibrant, and I like that area of the house to be a little more muted and calm feeling. (Around here, you do what you can to create calm. It doesn't occur naturally.)

So I left the fabric at the store.

Until.

My wonderful friend Teresa sent me a gift. It's a sewing book, which I shall review at a later date. But the thing is chock full of amazing ideas, tips and tricks, and cool projects, complete with patterns. It is AWESOME.

And in the pages of that bright little book is the cutest apron you will ever see. Except, perhaps, for the one that I will be making with these 3 fabrics.

Bright? Yes. Bold? Yes. Slightly obnoxious, even? Well, yes.

But isn't that a perfect description of me?

I thought so, too.



No promises about when it will be done. I have some curtains to make, some polar fleece hats, and a really cute pincushion from the aforementioned book, so I have plenty to keep me busy, but this one looks like fun so I am hoping to get through the "have to"s and move to the "want to"s sometime soon.

No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency

I mentioned a few weeks ago that I had begun reading this series of books by Alexander McCall Smith. It took me a little while to get into the first book but I found that I really enjoyed the characters, the cases, and most surprisingly, the setting.

The books take place in Botswana, a country I knew nothing about, and each book contains bits of history including British colonialism, descriptions of landscapes that are unfamiliar to me, and accounts of wildlife that are funny, outrageous, and somehow reverent too.

I didn't have any expectations when I picked up the first book; I had just heard from several people that the series was a good one. Precious Ramotswe, with her love of bush tea and the old Botswana morality, has become a friend whose adventures I will follow to the end.

Books my kids are enjoying right now

These books are great for boys or girls and I would recommend them for reluctant readers. We have bought several to give as birthday gifts and they are the talk of our elementary school right now.

There are other titles, including Fairyology, Pirateology, and Egyptology. Written to sound like scientific guides (kind of like Graeme Base's book The Discovery of Dragons and Dinotopia), they have kept my kids happy in the car and on rainy days this summer.

You can search Amazon for each individual title or "ologies."

While I was gone ...

Bullet points for the sake of expediency.

* We got 5 nights in the camper in 2 different campgrounds. Last night's adventures will merit a post of their own later. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
* A visit from a dear friend was a good thing. Funny how things can change in 21 years.
* Load 3 of camping laundry is in the washer now. Camping: when your regular Mt. Washmore is just not a challenge anymore.
* Starting the bedtime routine this week. Bed at 8:30 tonight if I'm lucky. (For me and the kids. See bullet #1. Details to follow.)
* Vet appointment for Pippa. Antibiotics for a bacterial infection in an anal sac (ewwwww) and steroid drops for an eye condition. Every day. For the rest of her life. Because it's fun to wrestle her to the ground, pin her, and hold her little applehead in one place so I can get the drops in each little bulgy eye. But I love her, I really do.
* Got tons of reading done this week. The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency series by Alexander McCall Smith is worth the read. I got through 1, 2 and 3. Going back to the library for more. The Cry of the Dove is hard to get into ... she shifts time and place so quickly, and the characters ran together at first. Once I figured out how it all fit together, though, I enjoyed it. Some of the prose is lyrical and I found myself thinking, "I wish I had written that." Surprising and emotional.


* Also read a generous helping of People magazine. I found a couple older ones in the laundry room at one campground and bought a couple, too. Mind candy. Yummy.
* Did not miss the television all week. The kids didn't mention it or video games all week. In all honesty, they never pine for electronics when we camp, but I was glad nonetheless.
And a bonus, non-bulleted point:
I did not watch 1 minute of Olympic coverage. Nothing. Since the '94 Dream Team and the cynicism I developed as a result of the time-honored tradition of amateur Olympians being smashed to smithereens by a bunch of professional athletes crowing and preening about their prowess while humiliating teams of actual amateurs who had worked so hard to reach the Olympics, I just can't stomach it. So I didn't watch it. And I didn't miss it. And I don't feel bad about it.
So take that, NBC. And IOC. And USOC. 'Cause I know you were all waiting with bated breath to hear what I thought of it.

I think I love her

Jen Lancaster. Oh. My. God. One of the funniest, bitchiest, most spoiled, petulant, fashionable, brainiest, wittiest, most sarcastic and snarky people ON EARTH. She is all of my favorite things rolled into one. Seriously.

My friend Cara (who I would link to except her blog hasn't been updated since OCTOBER, people) told me she was reading Jen's latest book. I give you:



I know.

Turns out this is Jen's THIRD book, so my new must-have title is:



Her blog is terrific -- scroll down on the main page (the Croc heels? OMG! Seriously! I don't often wear heels, as my loyal reader LOL knows, but I want them) and you'll find a list of recommendations for summer reads and I am getting every single one from the library. Except Bright Lights ... because they don't have it. A scathing email of which Jen would be proud will soon be hurtling itself through cyberspace to land in the local public library.

And I now have a new vacation/retirement destination: Jennsylvania. With a fresh mani/pedi, a mojito in hand, some sparkly shoes and my lousy attitude I know I'll fit right in.

Blech.

Somehow today got away from me, too. (It could be the 2 hours I just spent at our friends' pool hanging out with the kids....)

So today, just a quick rundown of reading material while we were on vacation:

Snow Flower and the Secret Fan by Lisa See

The Memory of Running by Ron McLarty

Both excellent reads. I have requested another book by Lisa See that I had heard of before but never got around to reading. So once Peony In Love arrives at the Bookmobile for me I'll let you know what I think.

I also got through Newsweek and Time, both cover to cover -- I never get to do that. It felt so indulgent. And I have been browsing O magazine's summer book issue but frankly it left me uninspired.

More later -- I have to go make dinner so everyone gets to baseball on time.

Friday

First day of summer. I slept in until 8:15 and we got a few things done so we're ready to camp.

Rob got the kids to baseball last night and left me at home (I did laundry and dishes, then sat to read a book). Their room is picked up and I didn't have to be the enforcer. This was a gift. I am really in no shape to do much of anything -- I am so tired. I think it's just me in a virtual collapse after pushing myself too hard the last few weeks. I don't do well if I don't have time to get stuff done at home. Home has been suffering, and so have I. It feels good to be getting back on track.

We leave tomorrow with our 3 boys and 3 extras -- a friend for each. The forecast is for rain tomorrow evening. Please think of us, as our camper is cozy but highly inappropriate for 6 energetic boys in a rainstorm. Yikes.

Have neglected to mention all of my recent reading -- I LOVED The Time Traveler's Wife and Water for Elephants. In fact, the ending of Water is possibly the best, most satisfying, not sickeningly sweet ending I have read, EVER. I am now in the middle of one called Edward Trencom's Nose. Interesting, but good enough to keep me coming back in the small spaces I have to read right now. Oh, and Living Biblically. That A.J. Jacobs. He is a funny guy. And yet, this book has a very serious side, discussing the meaning and intent of Bible verses. A remarkable perspective and a good read for almost anyone. (Even a heathen.)

Evan's soccer pizza party is tonight and his last game is tomorrow. Will be back next week, but since Spencer's first baseball game is Monday and we descend Tuesday into Garrett-goes-one-way and Evan-goes-the-other for baseball every Tuesday and Thursday, I'm not sure when I'll be coming up for air.

Have a good weekend, and stay safe, everybody.

Finally, part 2

Sandy tagged me April 11. And even though I have a pile of good reads on my nightstand none of them have anything good on page 123. I spied a book on my bookshelf yesterday and I decided that I was using it no matter what because I want other people to know about this book and because pulling it off the shelf will inspire me to read it again.

The book is The Things They Carried by Tim O'Brien.

I've mentioned here before that my dad left for Vietnam when I was a week old. In college I took a semester-long colloquium on Vietnam in film and literature, and I was introduced to this book. That spring I was privileged to meet the author, who had come to my school for a literary conference. He was amazing.

And here is the meme:
Pick up the nearest book of at least 123 pages.
Open the book to page 123.
Find the 5th sentence.
Post the next 3 sentences.
Tag 5 people.

"Try to tell them about it, they'll just stare at you with those big round candy eyes. They won't understand zip. It's like trying to tell someone what chocolate tastes like."

Thanks, Sandy, for putting me back in touch with a dear old friend.

I tag Ava and Nancy.

Milestone

Spencer got his first library card today. This is a big deal in our family. He feels pretty grown up now, and it was a fun afternoon.

Even better than kids who are happy checking out books and reading is the stack I have at my disposal right now:



Watching Baseball Smarter
The Time Traveler's Wife
Water for Elephants
Inside Inside
Loving Frank

Sandy, I am going to do that meme this week, I promise.

A Very Good Day

I was pretty low when I answered those questions the other day. Thanks to those insightful enough to see it and email me. I appreciate it. It was parenting angst which I shall not dwell on today because it was a perfect day.

This morning we got up and went to a camp near Pepin, Wisconsin to their "Maple Syrup Day." On the way we saw a sign for the birthplace of Laura Ingalls Wilder and took a 14 mile detour to see the site of the Little House in the Big Woods. I loved those books as a child I read them over and over. Laura was my friend, and to walk on the land that she played on as a little girl was surprisingly emotional for me. There is a little reproduction cabin that is open to tourists (although it is empty and not staffed) and we went in and saw the small space in which a family of 4 lived. I could almost see the onions hanging from the rafters and the jars of canned goods on a shelf in the corner.




On to the camp, then, where we got to taste the sap of a sugar maple (the taps look like little spigots and the sap looks like water and was not as sweet as I expected). It takes 40 gallons of sugar maple sap to make just 1 gallon of maple syrup. We ate the syrup on delicious pancakes and if you've never had the real thing I recommend it.



The kids had the opportunity to try archery and climb the big climbing wall, and they made friendship bracelets at the Arts & Crafts area. A total blast. Now all of them want to go to summer camp. We are accepting donations. Email me and I'll give you my PayPal address. LOL






Stopped at LARK Toys for a birthday gift and then home to Rochester where I checked my email and found that my candidate for Chair had prevailed in a contested election at our DFL County Convention. Plus a really awesome guy was elected Affirmative Action Representative and I think he is going to do amazing things to draw in some of the immigrant and minority community members which are underrepresented in our party.

Off to a birthday party at Quarry Hill Nature Center, and to see the "Creatures of the Deep" exhibit, which ends Monday, March 31. It is awesome. I have never even imagined a turtle 16 feet wide.




We stopped at the grocery store for avocado and lettuce and all the ingredients for Dirt Dessert, and we are home now, getting ready to have BLTs (with avocado) and oven fries for dinner. A quiet evening together for all of us and possibly a glass of wine with my husband after the kids are in bed.

I saw 2 robins today as we were driving in Wisconsin, the temps today climbed to near 50 degrees, the snow is almost gone, and I feel spring is on its way.

A very good day, indeed.

Yessss ....

More progress on the list. Got my mom's sweatshirt done and into the mail. Honestly, it was the buttonholes that were holding me back. I am afraid of buttonholes. Most of my sewing consists of straight seams. This is deliberate on my part; I don't venture too far into realms I am unfamiliar with in the sewing world.

Anyway, the buttonholes are done. Are they beautiful? Not so much. Functional? Possibly. But DONE they are. And really, my mom is highly unlikely to button the thing. She lives life in a perpetual state of "power surge." (Sorry, mom.)

Here is the sweatshirt just before it got put in the box. It really is pretty, I think. And my sis-in-law Nancy's is well on its way. I am just waiting for a border from the sewing store for the stained glass pattern. Next week, I think.



And I got the finials for the boys' curtain rod DONE. Evan sanded them this afternoon for me and I painted them tonight while catching up on Grey's Anatomy on abc.com. Can I just say that that is AWESOME? I watched all of this season's episodes and am caught up. Since we are out of town for MEA weekend I am unlikely to catch this week's episode but this was so convenient I may never watch it on TV again.

Here are the finials:




And I started a Yahoo group that will morph into a real live book group at some point. I think it will be a slow start, but I am being patient, because good things are worth waiting for and this group will be fab if we can get it together. With jobs and husbands and kids and volunteering and life in general it won't be fast, but with the women I've invited it will be interesting. That is a very good thing.

Last thing: my darling husband has been driving around in cars that sort of have had the "this will work for now" theme. Tonight he bought his dream car. He has wanted one since they came out and he is now the proud owner of a PT Cruiser. It's a 2002 but in beautiful shape and it has all the bells and whistles. He is so excited, and I am excited for him. The color is Taupe Frost Metallic. Very classy.

So ... life rolls merrily along, and it is good. Very good.

Harry Potter (no spoilers)

I almost forgot to mention it, but I finished Book 7 last night.

And I will not say anything other than I KNEW IT!!!!!!

More on that later. I loved it. And for once I was right about something.

Go figure.

Buy this book

Excerpt from Lee Iacocca's Where Have All the Leaders Gone?



Had Enough?

Am I the only guy in this country who's fed up with what's happening? Where the hell is our outrage? We should be screaming bloody murder. We've got a gang of clueless bozos steering our ship of state right over a cliff, we've got corporate gangsters stealing us blind, and we can't even clean up after a hurricane much less build a hybrid car. But instead of getting mad, everyone sits around and nods their heads when the politicians say, "Stay the course."

Stay the course? You've got to be kidding. This is America, not the damned Titanic. I'll give you a sound bite: Throw the bums out!

You might think I'm getting senile, that I've gone off my rocker, and maybe I have. But someone has to speak up. I hardly recognize this country anymore. The President of the United States is given a free pass to ignore the Constitution, tap our phones, and lead us to war on a pack of lies. Congress responds to record deficits by passing a huge tax cut for the wealthy (thanks, but I don't need it). The most famous business leaders are not the innovators but the guys in handcuffs. While we're fiddling in Iraq, the Middle East is burning and nobody seems to know what to do. And the press is waving pom-poms instead of asking hard questions. That's not the promise of America my parents and yours traveled across the ocean for. I've had enough. How about you?

I'll go a step further. You can't call yourself a patriot if you're not outraged. This is a fight I'm ready and willing to have.

My friends tell me to calm down. They say, "Lee, you're eighty-two years old. Leave the rage to the young people." I'd love to — as soon as I can pry them away from their iPods for five seconds and get them to pay attention. I'm going to speak up because it's my patriotic duty. I think people will listen to me. They say I have a reputation as a straight shooter. So I'll tell you how I see it, and it's not pretty, but at least it's real. I'm hoping to strike a nerve in those young folks who say they don't vote because they don't trust politicians to represent their interests. Hey, America, wake up. These guys work for us.

Who Are These Guys, Anyway?

Why are we in this mess? How did we end up with this crowd in Washington? Well, we voted for them — or at least some of us did. But I'll tell you what we didn't do. We didn't agree to suspend the Constitution. We didn't agree to stop asking questions or demanding answers. Some of us are sick and tired of people who call free speech treason. Where I come from that's a dictatorship, not a democracy.

And don't tell me it's all the fault of right-wing Republicans or liberal Democrats. That's an intellectually lazy argument, and it's part of the reason we're in this stew. We're not just a nation of factions. We're a people. We share common principles and ideals. And we rise and fall together.

Where are the voices of leaders who can inspire us to action and make us stand taller? What happened to the strong and resolute party of Lincoln? What happened to the courageous, populist party of FDR and Truman? There was a time in this country when the voices of great leaders lifted us up and made us want to do better. Where have all the leaders gone?

The Test of a Leader

I've never been Commander in Chief, but I've been a CEO. I understand a few things about leadership at the top. I've figured out nine points — not ten (I don't want people accusing me of thinking I'm Moses). I call them the "Nine Cs of Leadership." They're not fancy or complicated. Just clear, obvious qualities that every true leader should have. We should look at how the current administration stacks up. Like it or not, this crew is going to be around until January 2009. Maybe we can learn something before we go to the polls in 2008. Then let's be sure we use the leadership test to screen the candidates who say they want to run the country. It's up to us to choose wisely.

So, here's my C list:

A leader has to show CURIOSITY. He has to listen to people outside of the "Yes, sir" crowd in his inner circle. He has to read voraciously, because the world is a big, complicated place. George W. Bush brags about never reading a newspaper. "I just scan the headlines," he says. Am I hearing this right? He's the President of the United States and he never reads a newspaper? Thomas Jefferson once said, "Were it left to me to decide whether we should have a government without newspapers, or newspapers without a government, I should not hesitate for a moment to prefer the latter." Bush disagrees. As long as he gets his daily hour in the gym, with Fox News piped through the sound system, he's ready to go.

If a leader never steps outside his comfort zone to hear different ideas, he grows stale. If he doesn't put his beliefs to the test, how does he know he's right? The inability to listen is a form of arrogance. It means either you think you already know it all, or you just don't care. Before the 2006 election, George Bush made a big point of saying he didn't listen to the polls. Yeah, that's what they all say when the polls stink. But maybe he should have listened, because 70 percent of the people were saying he was on the wrong track. It took a "thumping" on election day to wake him up, but even then you got the feeling he wasn't listening so much as he was calculating how to do a better job of convincing everyone he was right.

A leader has to be CREATIVE, go out on a limb, be willing to try something different. You know, think outside the box. George Bush prides himself on never changing, even as the world around him is spinning out of control. God forbid someone should accuse him of flip-flopping. There's a disturbingly messianic fervor to his certainty. Senator Joe Biden recalled a conversation he had with Bush a few months after our troops marched into Baghdad. Joe was in the Oval Office outlining his concerns to the President — the explosive mix of Shiite and Sunni, the disbanded Iraqi army, the problems securing the oil fields. "The President was serene," Joe recalled. "He told me he was sure that we were on the right course and that all would be well. 'Mr. President,' I finally said, 'how can you be so sure when you don't yet know all the facts?'" Bush then reached over and put a steadying hand on Joe's shoulder. "My instincts," he said. "My instincts." Joe was flabbergasted. He told Bush, "Mr. President, your instincts aren't good enough." Joe Biden sure didn't think the matter was settled. And, as we all know now, it wasn't.

Leadership is all about managing change — whether you're leading a company or leading a country. Things change, and you get creative. You adapt. Maybe Bush was absent the day they covered that at Harvard Business School.

A leader has to COMMUNICATE. I'm not talking about running off at the mouth or spouting sound bites. I'm talking about facing reality and telling the truth. Nobody in the current administration seems to know how to talk straight anymore. Instead, they spend most of their time trying to convince us that things are not really as bad as they seem. I don't know if it's denial or dishonesty, but it can start to drive you crazy after a while. Communication has to start with telling the truth, even when it's painful. The war in Iraq has been, among other things, a grand failure of communication. Bush is like the boy who didn't cry wolf when the wolf was at the door. After years of being told that all is well, even as the casualties and chaos mount, we've stopped listening to him.

A leader has to be a person of CHARACTER. That means knowing the difference between right and wrong and having the guts to do the right thing. Abraham Lincoln once said, "If you want to test a man's character, give him power." George Bush has a lot of power. What does it say about his character? Bush has shown a willingness to take bold action on the world stage because he has the power, but he shows little regard for the grievous consequences. He has sent our troops (not to mention hundreds of thousands of innocent Iraqi citizens) to their deaths — for what? To build our oil reserves? To avenge his daddy because Saddam Hussein once tried to have him killed? To show his daddy he's tougher? The motivations behind the war in Iraq are questionable, and the execution of the war has been a disaster. A man of character does not ask a single soldier to die for a failed policy.

A leader must have COURAGE. I'm talking about balls. (That even goes for female leaders.) Swagger isn't courage. Tough talk isn't courage. George Bush comes from a blue-blooded Connecticut family, but he likes to talk like a cowboy. You know, My gun is bigger than your gun. Courage in the twenty-first century doesn't mean posturing and bravado. Courage is a commitment to sit down at the negotiating table and talk.

If you're a politician, courage means taking a position even when you know it will cost you votes. Bush can't even make a public appearance unless the audience has been handpicked and sanitized. He did a series of so-called town hall meetings last year, in auditoriums packed with his most devoted fans. The questions were all softballs.

To be a leader you've got to have CONVICTION — a fire in your belly. You've got to have passion. You've got to really want to get something done. How do you measure fire in the belly? Bush has set the all-time record for number of vacation days taken by a U.S. President — four hundred and counting. He'd rather clear brush on his ranch than immerse himself in the business of governing. He even told an interviewer that the high point of his presidency so far was catching a seven-and-a-half-pound perch in his hand-stocked lake.

It's no better on Capitol Hill. Congress was in session only ninety-seven days in 2006. That's eleven days less than the record set in 1948, when President Harry Truman coined the term do-nothing Congress. Most people would expect to be fired if they worked so little and had nothing to show for it. But Congress managed to find the time to vote itself a raise. Now, that's not leadership.

A leader should have CHARISMA. I'm not talking about being flashy. Charisma is the quality that makes people want to follow you. It's the ability to inspire. People follow a leader because they trust him. That's my definition of charisma. Maybe George Bush is a great guy to hang out with at a barbecue or a ball game. But put him at a global summit where the future of our planet is at stake, and he doesn't look very presidential. Those frat-boy pranks and the kidding around he enjoys so much don't go over that well with world leaders. Just ask German Chancellor Angela Merkel, who received an unwelcome shoulder massage from our President at a G-8 Summit. When he came up behind her and started squeezing, I thought she was going to go right through the roof.

A leader has to be COMPETENT. That seems obvious, doesn't it? You've got to know what you're doing. More important than that, you've got to surround yourself with people who know what they're doing. Bush brags about being our first MBA President. Does that make him competent? Well, let's see. Thanks to our first MBA President, we've got the largest deficit in history, Social Security is on life support, and we've run up a half-a-trillion-dollar price tag (so far) in Iraq. And that's just for starters. A leader has to be a problem solver, and the biggest problems we face as a nation seem to be on the back burner.

You can't be a leader if you don't have COMMON SENSE. I call this Charlie Beacham's rule. When I was a young guy just starting out in the car business, one of my first jobs was as Ford's zone manager in Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania. My boss was a guy named Charlie Beacham, who was the East Coast regional manager. Charlie was a big Southerner, with a warm drawl, a huge smile, and a core of steel. Charlie used to tell me, "Remember, Lee, the only thing you've got going for you as a human being is your ability to reason and your common sense. If you don't know a dip of horseshit from a dip of vanilla ice cream, you'll never make it." George Bush doesn't have common sense. He just has a lot of sound bites. You know — Mr. they'll welcome us as liberators no child left behind heck of a job Brownie mission accomplished Bush.

Former President Bill Clinton once said, "I grew up in an alcoholic home. I spent half my childhood trying to get into the reality-based world — and I like it here."

I think our current President should visit the real world once in a while.

The Biggest C is Crisis

Leaders are made, not born. Leadership is forged in times of crisis. It's easy to sit there with your feet up on the desk and talk theory. Or send someone else's kids off to war when you've never seen a battlefield yourself. It's another thing to lead when your world comes tumbling down.

On September 11, 2001, we needed a strong leader more than any other time in our history. We needed a steady hand to guide us out of the ashes. Where was George Bush? He was reading a story about a pet goat to kids in Florida when he heard about the attacks. He kept sitting there for twenty minutes with a baffled look on his face. It's all on tape. You can see it for yourself. Then, instead of taking the quickest route back to Washington and immediately going on the air to reassure the panicked people of this country, he decided it wasn't safe to return to the White House. He basically went into hiding for the day—and he told Vice President Dick Cheney to stay put in his bunker. We were all frozen in front of our TVs, scared out of our wits, waiting for our leaders to tell us that we were going to be okay, and there was nobody home. It took Bush a couple of days to get his bearings and devise the right photo op at Ground Zero.

That was George Bush's moment of truth, and he was paralyzed. And what did he do when he'd regained his composure? He led us down the road to Iraq — a road his own father had considered disastrous when he was President. But Bush didn't listen to Daddy. He listened to a higher father. He prides himself on being faith based, not reality based. If that doesn't scare the crap out of you, I don't know what will.

A Hell of a Mess

So here's where we stand. We're immersed in a bloody war with no plan for winning and no plan for leaving. We're running the biggest deficit in the history of the country. We're losing the manufacturing edge to Asia, while our once-great companies are getting slaughtered by health care costs. Gas prices are skyrocketing, and nobody in power has a coherent energy policy. Our schools are in trouble. Our borders are like sieves. The middle class is being squeezed every which way. These are times that cry out for leadership.

But when you look around, you've got to ask: "Where have all the leaders gone?" Where are the curious, creative communicators? Where are the people of character, courage, conviction, competence, and common sense? I may be a sucker for alliteration, but I think you get the point.

Name me a leader who has a better idea for homeland security than making us take off our shoes in airports and throw away our shampoo? We've spent billions of dollars building a huge new bureaucracy, and all we know how to do is react to things that have already happened.

Name me one leader who emerged from the crisis of Hurricane Katrina. Congress has yet to spend a single day evaluating the response to the hurricane, or demanding accountability for the decisions that were made in the crucial hours after the storm. Everyone's hunkering down, fingers crossed, hoping it doesn't happen again. Now, that's just crazy. Storms happen. Deal with it. Make a plan. Figure out what you're going to do the next time.

Name me an industry leader who is thinking creatively about how we can restore our competitive edge in manufacturing. Who would have believed that there could ever be a time when "the Big Three" referred to Japanese car companies? How did this happen — and more important, what are we going to do about it?

Name me a government leader who can articulate a plan for paying down the debt, or solving the energy crisis, or managing the health care problem. The silence is deafening. But these are the crises that are eating away at our country and milking the middle class dry.

I have news for the gang in Congress. We didn't elect you to sit on your asses and do nothing and remain silent while our democracy is being hijacked and our greatness is being replaced with mediocrity. What is everybody so afraid of? That some bobblehead on Fox News will call them a name? Give me a break. Why don't you guys show some spine for a change?

Had Enough?

Hey, I'm not trying to be the voice of gloom and doom here. I'm trying to light a fire. I'm speaking out because I have hope. I believe in America. In my lifetime I've had the privilege of living through some of America's greatest moments. I've also experienced some of our worst crises — the Great Depression, World War II, the Korean War, the Kennedy assassination, the Vietnam War, the 1970s oil crisis, and the struggles of recent years culminating with 9/11. If I've learned one thing, it's this: You don't get anywhere by standing on the sidelines waiting for somebody else to take action. Whether it's building a better car or building a better future for our children, we all have a role to play. That's the challenge I'm raising in this book. It's a call to action for people who, like me, believe in America. It's not too late, but it's getting pretty close. So let's shake off the horseshit and go to work. Let's tell 'em all we've had enough.

I have nothing to gain whatsoever from the purchase of this book. But I have to say I think he is gutsy, he is bold, and he is right. Thank you, Mr. Iacocca.